Today I realized for the 3826th time that I don't know what I want to do in the future. So I decided to just think of things that can bring me to tears, stir something up in me, make me feel passionate:

climatic and moving film scores, musicals that have brilliant soundtracks, looking at orchestra pits, pictures of directors and producers in action, quartets, amazing piano skills displayed on YouTube, a British parliament session, documentaries on war, television plugs featuring lots of skinny and dying children to get people to donate, when a mentally handicapped person smiles at me, seeing old people in the hospital, watching LKY on Charlie Rose, memorable passages or phrases in 10/10 books, the Beatles, gigantic crowds singing Hey Jude, reading the newspapers, natural disasters, cello/violin/viola solos, orchestra score sheets, charity organization websites, elections, down to earth politicians, journalists who cover small but touching stories, being able to draw out the world map fairly accurately, trafalgar square, la seine, st peter's basilica, tokyo and burma

So my interests lie here: music, politics, social work and travel. In my opinion I think politics, social work and travel can tie in quite nicely, if I go off to work for an NGO or something along those lines. I've often considered that an extremely viable option.

Music, on the other hand, I would love, love, love to do, but I have not the capabilities, the qualifications nor the excess of time to try to acquire them. But if I could do anything in the world, I think, probably, I would want to play in an orchestra, make beautiful music, maybe compose something. At my age, that dream is almost impossible, I think. Ironic, since I really am only 20 years old. But musicians start from 5, and anyone who begins beyond 10 perhaps has not a hope in the world left. I think it will remain one of my greatest regrets, not becoming a musician in some way, not going to some outstanding music school, giving up on piano because I was scared of a test. Feel like slapping my 11 year old self, what a stupid fool.