Tonight we went to the bar but I'm afraid everybody has already found their cliques and ours is small but it is decent and I think maybe on this exchange I don't have to have that crazy, party experience. One thing I keep trying to remember, the cosmic law of attraction which is something I read about in Illusions by Richard Bach, 'everybody is free to do whatever they want to do' and that people will come in and out of your life depending whether or not they have things to learn from you, or if they have nothing to contribute. While I was at the bar I kept thinking, I feel like going home, I feel like reading a book, lying in bed, feeling jaded but also happy under the covers.

The people who constantly tell you that you have to make friends and put yourself out there... I wonder, if they've ever thought about the fact that sometimes it is

okay
to
be
lonely

Still, even if I wanted to make friends, I can feel radiations and waves of racism flood over me, like how people's eyes avert mine when searching a crowd for friends or the significant drop in jolliness or vivaciousness when I ask for help or something. Of course there are exceptions but I thought to myself, perhaps I would rather people be outright insulting rather than play this stupid game of subtle racism, acting like they are judging me even though it's so obvious

But so far I like these people:

a girl from slovakia
a girl from korea
a girl from germany
a guy from italy who skipped out on the bar to watch soccer
a girl from maastricht
a girl from perth

There are very few guys here.

The best part of my day is getting on skype to tell Gus about the second best part of my day which is usually some sort of other activity.

School at 930am. Goodnight.