hi i'm sitting in gus's room doing my presentation for european foreign policy due on tuesday morning at 9am and it's just getting harder and harder to keep reading and focus and abstract out all these crazy ideas... wondering what is the point sometimes, although i did promise myself, in my last sem, let's see something that is perhaps something i can proudly say 'yeah i did my best' ha ha weird i can't say that about much else

anyways things have been hectic but for some reason i can still play flappy bird and shotzombie for 3 hours straight??? is my head screwed on right??? still, got a compliment from work that i've been doing well for that, so that's good. otherwise i've just been having lots of fun in school which is a reality that i would never have imagined even a year ago, i think. went out for drinks on friday with people from school and that was really, really fun. i'm glad we did that.

this morning we went out to eat fei fei wanton mee and it was so good tbh i'm thinking about having it for dinner

something else is that i feel like i can't even go out and have fun consistently anymore, in the way that is 'cool' or 'hip' i.e. at hte club or at the bar or at wherever. after one night out i get tired at 2am and want to go home, and then spend the next 2-3 days recovering. i'm only 22 though so why is this happening. sometimes the idea of doing what i did over the past 3 years wrt clubbing especially seems so draining nowadays, like i'd much prefer to stay at home and play cards or something. drinking is still alright i think, it's just to loosen inhibitions and to get to know people in a less awkward way. but clubbing seems weird when i think about it now, or the way i've always been doing it, sitting around drinking but not being able to talk because of the loud music... talking is so important tbh i think people don't realize that. real talking one to one stuff

nathan weizhen hanson and i went out for dinner after environmental politics last tuesday, and sitting in a hawker centre, talking about religion and God... it felt really good and i really enjoyed myself. i think what i enjoy a lot about these people is that there's definitely the moments of tummy-clutching laughter and nonsense but there's also definitely the feeling that no matter what i talk about, someone is likely to identify with me. the fact that we are all at this juncture in our lives together i feel indicates that we've forged something of a common past

i guess i feel thankful and grateful (almost typed greatful) and i should get back to work