feel like a loser who can't even keep uni under control. it's spiraling out of control, everything is. feel like I am failing more and more each day, becoming less and less brilliant than I could be. shall I link it to the crumbling, weak willpower I possess? or perhaps my inherent tendencies to be as lazy as the situation will allow? feel like I am the opposite of those people who take something bad and turn it into something good. everything my parents give me is good and I turn it into something bad, useless, pointless, disappointing.

I think the last thing I ever wanted was to disappoint my parents. maybe today I finally did it.