HOW TO DEAL WITH SADNESS WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND TO OFFER YOU RESPITE:

1. Down cartons of mango juice.
2. Download torrents of various trashy American sitcoms and criticize them.
3. Get sick so you can focus on the physical pain instead.
4. Play absorbing games like Tetris Battle.
5. 9GAG.
6. Sleeping pills. Only once. When it hurts the most. Just for the brief escape.

I don't understand when people say, "Learn to be strong", I don't understand how, but the above is my reaction to it, my attempt to try.

On a side note, I really like sleeping pills, but I've only ever taken them twice so I'm not addicted or anything. I only take them when I'm flying because I have a slight phobia of planes. Anyway, it's amazing, it's like you fall asleep within a half hour and almost literally the next second, you're up and six hours have gone by. It is INSANE. I never remember anything that has taken place in between those six hours, even if I was woken up or anything like that. I don't endorse using sleeping pills for anything else other than flight phobia and severe insomnia, but I realised that if there are nights that I just cannot stand being aware of my brain functioning, and cannot tolerate anymore thoughts about anything, then sleeping pills are perfect, no? Sounds like a slippery slope, but I don't envision myself as someone who'll get addicted to pills. I just really like the effect, I think the science of it is amazing. In any case I have no more pills. I'd have to lie to the doctor to get some more.