i don't have much to say anymore.. my body feels like a dead weight i'm dragging around most of the time. i think i realised i'm very very selfish. but i know you are too.

how do you know when a thought is something growing into something important and something that's trying to tell you something that you can sort of feel sitting in your gut

and how do you know when a thought is a thought you will forget by sunrise???

the nightmares don't stop, do they. i'm afraid to sleep because i'm afraid to feel how i do in these nightmares. i was always jealous of how you slept with no problems, deep, rumbling snores as if nothing was wrong with the world. nothing was wrong with your world, ever. no matter what was actually wrong