graduation

so apparently i've graduated, i'm no longer a student and will never be in my entire life unless i make the conscious decision to go back and become one... but it feels weird now, education is something that i will 'return' to and not 'go forward' with any longer. to the extent that i internalize that education is a privilege, i'm honestly extremely sad to see this institution fade out of my life... even though majority of the time i did not enjoy studying, i can't deny that i've learnt so, so, so many things that aren't mere facts, theories or arguments... things that translate into real life values and shape the way i view life, which is why education is so important

find it hard to be optimistic about moving into my next phase in life. it's scary and uncertain and i can't be sure that it's one of my life's 'ups' as of yet which makes me hesitant in a thousand and one ways. i think for awhile i'll still be trying to hold onto the emotions of uni life, especially of my last semester... i'll miss everyone so much, i can't believe how enjoyable school became, i wish i had this for all four years. yet like i said if four years of loneliness was to lead me to this one sem of great fun then i guess it was all worth it. for a long time i haven't felt this way about anyone besides Gus, the feeling of i don't want to lose you please can't we stay a little longer.. i mean i really like these people