Annecy, France
29th September 2012

me: yeah in two weeks they have a festival called "Retour de l'Alpes" where the cows and sheep and all the animals come back from the mountains for winter, so they're paraded through the city center
gus: oh really? but how do they know
me: know what? they have it every year
gus: but how do the animals know to walk to the city

laughed for 10 minutes or so

gus: yeah during the concert (big bang) lu's friend was in the standing area, and GD was singing right in front of her, and she shouted "GD FUCK ME! FUCK ME!"

laughed for 20 minutes

korean/french friend: sorry we cannot cook ddeokbokki tonight, i will be going to a dance lesson of rock !

in annecy we visited a contemporary art museum and there was a pile of sand on the floor.
it is a lovely place and it would be so perfect to go back in summer.
honestly thinking about it honestly it would look so so good minus the clouds and drizzle and plus beaucoup, beaucoup de ensolleile

i have been wanting to take all this time to read as many books as i can, but everytime i want to reach for my kindle, i feel guilty and reach for my french book instead. when my parents come in december i want to impress them and make them feel like their money has not been wasted.

on friday i will take a train to paris and meet Bert, which makes me happy, thinking about it. while i love meeting new people from all over hte world, there is a special delight reserved in indulging in a little Singaporean flavour in the form of another Singaporean who can understand and share my humour, & who is literally a little slice of home in an otherwise unfamiliar place. am excited thinking about it. we are going to disneyland.

wanted to go to a club tonight but the queue was so long that we just left
we followed the germans to an irish pub and they spoke german all the time
we talked about some things and it was fun
marty called a taxi for me and waited with me which was really really nice of him
while we were waiting, lots of french people spoke to us
which is really friendly of them, i don't know if it is something specific to Southern French
but lots of french people have been really friendly to me so i really like that

if i think about it i have met and talked to so many people even if i don't really have anyone
to specifically hang out with
for that i think i should be grateful enough
most of the time i just feel bad about my bad french
but today in french class madam rocca said i did a good job, and i felt better
i think she said maybe i shouldn't change classes which was a huge boost to my confidence
i still have a ways to go but i am grateful for today generally

except for certain weird things & that i didn't get to skype with gus
i miss him so much sometimes it really hurts
& i can't figure out why my mobile costs so much to message it's driving me crazy

from now on, before anything, i will ask myself, is this what you really want to do, and if the answer is yes, i will do it, no exceptions, and if the answer is no, i will walk away without looking back

so long as it does not hurt other people, NOT what other people think. i want to be done with that bullshit.

today i went down to the maison de la montagne 
got a couple of maps and some advice
went to gosport to buy some shoes and a backpack
and now i'm all ready for hiking tomorrow, of which i am excited
because i will be going alone and i hope it will be awesome

tonight i just wish so badly that if i reached out
my skin could touch Gus's skin, or his hair, or his teeth
and it wouldn't be a dream

some nights i think i am alright alone
other nights, like tonight, i realize i'm not
but then the immediate next thought is,
well, you just have to be

and that's how i'm approaching everything
the strongest and the survivors are the ones most adaptable to change
is that charles darwin? disproving common misconceptions of the survival of the fittest theory

disastrous french class #2. starting to feel like i might not be able to map it back to NUS
every sentence around here is "oh really? because in (insert country you're from) we..."
which is nice to hear, all the different stories, how people do things
i'm meeting new people everyday which is fun, doing more things (sort of)
sometimes i'm convinced i'm having a whole conversation with someone about singapore and they don't know where it is but don't say it also which is more pleasant than, 'isn't singapore in china?'
3 of us finished a 1.49 euro bottle of sangria. it was decent for 1.49 euros
i skipped class yesterday because i just couldn't wake up
but made it for my 8am class today and had a funny lecturer for my 11.10 class
after which we headed to jieun's place and stayed there drinking and talking for 4 hours
and then we got hotdogs (sausages placed in baguettes???) for 1 euro

came home and sat in the lounge talking about lots of things, that was fun
learned about a bird called the kasawari
also i made friends with a girl from china and she's so super nice
the only person here who can actually pronounce my name
she says it even nicer than i do
i actually can't even say it the way she does even if i really tried

downloaded deadpool comics
especially one series titled
'deadpool kills the marvel universe'
i'm at the part where he shoots spiderman in the head
last night i dreamt that there was capital punishment
via injecting poison through your thigh, and when i woke up my thigh was throbbing
but also, at the end of the dream
the man who was being executed was being hung so idgi

in french class today i felt discouraged
everybody else's french is about a thousand notches above mine
craving a 'c'est bien' from madam rocca
although i heard everybody else practiced/did lessons over the summer
while i spent summer watching korean shows

still, i made some new friends
made a good dinner for myself
in the afternoon i ate kebabs alone in centre ville and felt okay
two years ago i would've been so embarrassed to eat alone
but now it is so natural to me
feels mature

over the weekend ji eun and i went swimming
the sun was blazing hot but the water was freezing cold
we swam and tanned for ~3 hours
some really hot girls came down and i felt bad about myself & my body
so we went up and cooked pasta for dinner
then i did laundry

been skyping with Gus whenever i can
and writing him e-mails
he hung out with my sister & ate dinner with my family yesterday
which i really appreciated
he says his mom wants to send me food but the problem is
i have negligible cooking abilities

i have been listening to french resources online to practice my listening
people speak so fast sometimes i cannot understand
although i think now a week has passed and it is getting better
it's true what they say, when you are immersed in the culture of hte language you are learning
your progress goes 'tres, tres vite' 
i am doing maybe just one 3 hour lecture in french a week

lastly, it is so difficult to plan weekend trips
because Grenoble is a smallish city
anywhere i want to go i have to go to the airport of another city
train tickets are expensive
and long

i want to visit vienna very badly