back from Bali. loved it... I like that Gus was there because then I have my full attention in Bali, with everyone. I know it shouldn't have to be like that, but it is/was and that's the best way to have it. anyway I liked every bit of it. it was a little short I think, four days three nights, but it was fun nonetheless. 

it was quite dreamy I think, quite dreamy to wake up to see Gus' face... wonderful dinners with my whole family; steak, ribs, corn on the cob, lobster, the craziest martini in the world. friendly, friendly Balinese people! we swam so much. everyone is much darker than before. we made do with what we had and came up with games to play with rocks. we went to Apollo beach and did sea sports of course. I got to go diving again :) Gus, my brother and my sister went too! it was really fun. they gave us a piece of bread and when we descended we held it up in front of our faces and all the fishes began to nibble at it. imagine being surrounded by the most colorful of fishes! that's really what it was like: seeing their teeth, seeing their scales, the colors literally jumping off their fins. we did another thing called the donut, where five people sit in a float and get pulled by a speedboat. that was fun, my mother almost fell off the float (impossibly). then we did this thing called the Flying Fish which I enjoyed. basically it's a flat float which you lie on your back on, and the speedboat pulls it. and once it faces the wind, this guy would manually pull the float up so that it begins to literally fly because of the air resistance. so you soar into the air and see everything from maybe four stories up. not so much adrenaline, but definitely an experience. 

we also did some shopping. things are not as cheap as I expected them to be, so we didn't buy very much. on our last night we had a seven course meal set in our villa... wagyu beef steak, juicy lobsters and more. soooo good. 

at night when everyone is asleep Gus and I would go onto the daybed-like couch beside the pool and talk. then we'd snuggle under the sheets, he in his bed and I in mine, look at each other and talk some more. sometimes he'd let me slide into bed with him and he'd hold me while we talked. I think I looked forward to night time a lot, I'm really gonna miss being able to do that with him. he asked me if I was annoyed with him yet; this is the first time we've spent more than 36 hours together. and I am not. in fact I miss him now, I wish he was here with me just like in Bali. 

I know it looks like I ignored my family and spent all my time with Gus, but I really didn't. the family pics are with my Dad and I will upload them once I get the chance.

birthday in four days. 19 is a random number. I just like knowing that life moves on whether we like it or not. even though sometimes it feels like you just want everything to stop, I think knowing that you have to push past certain things whether you like it or not keeps you experiencing new things. I like that.

I have Christmas Lights by Coldplay on repeat. how the hell does Coldplay do it EVERY SINGLE TIME? insane. I love the song so damn much.