feels like there is this constant motion of change. big change. swirls of change whipping my hair across my face. I turn in the other direction to try and reverse it. nothing happens.

went to see the new house with my family yesterday. the house is 6 years old. the current family living there is moving back to Australia. imagine how many memories that house holds, and it's still beautiful. I took pictures of my room and was pleased with its dimensions because there's more space than I thought. when I leave I want to have two rooms, one here and one there that I can feel comfortable and loved in. difficult, but I think it'll take a lot more than 'wanting'. to have a room feel homely to a person there must be that sense of connectedness with the people who walk in and walk out of it. everyday I log onto thestudentroom and I look at the forums, see people who got into the same course as me, smile and think, maybe maybe maybe we'll be good friends and he/she can walk in and out of my dorm room (someone on TSR said "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THEY'RE NOT DORMS, THEY'RE HALLS OF RESIDENCES!!! WE'RE NOT IN THE U.S.!!!") and make it feel like home

can't wait to leave, but a million things to resolve before I go. feels like there's an endless buzzing in my head, a thousand voices yelling out problems that are unsolved, things that could go wrong, 'whether-or-not's. can't stand it, wish I could leave in peace