Now I will call myself a champion of sorts. Yesterday I survived a midterm I will probably do shit for. Today I churned out a 6-page essay on the garbage can model and the multiple streams framework in 4 hours. Finished my presentation for Singapore politics. Had the first French tutorial where everyone was having fun together. Met new people. Received my new bag in the mail. Had a family dinner at Pete's Place. Spent valentine's giving tuition and taking an exam. Am still awake though I only got 4 hours of sleep last night.

I feel like I'm constantly torn - things get better while they get worse. I don't know how better to explain myself. At this moment I want to let go of everything and just relax. There are times when it is okay to do just that.

It is raining outside.

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Another thing I wanted to touch on briefly - do you think girls nowadays perpetuate the view that most men adopt, that women are seen as sexual objects? Do you think girls nowadays are making that a self-fulfilling prophecy? I know it's unfair that guys can be as slutty as girls can and be a 'stud' instead of a 'slut', but we take that as a given for now.

Girls, knowing that they are generally going to be judged more harshly by society, STILL choose to be slutty. And what that does is it only serves to further embed in the mind of guys that girls are really just there for sex and it's easily obtainable. A guy has an encounter like that three, four times and that's it. His perception can be like that for a long, long time. Which is sad, don't you think? That several black sheep really label an entire demographic, an entire gender as only useful for casual sex, satisfying men.

Not only that, I don't understand why magazine covers constantly have to have girls dressed in almost nothing except some lacy underwear. Even actresses I'd consider to be fairly classy appear almost nude. Why do women feel the need to have to keep putting forward their sexuality? Have men really shaped the world in such a way that if you're not showing some skin, no one's interested? If women focused all their energy away from appearing sexy and into doing proper things, before long men might actually start to realize things other than ass, tits and sandwich-making skills.

I'm honestly not a feminist, nor do I strongly advocate equal status between genders... there are some things that men are better at and there's really nothing you can do about it. But once in awhile I get very irritated at the way men really look at girls with such utilitarian views, how men honestly, honestly look at girls as objects. And what irritates me more is how some girls really make themselves objects just to please men. FOR FUCK. What's weird is that they probably do it to get the attention of boys, feel special, etc, but the boys who fuck these girls run off to their buddies and they all laugh about how this girl is a slut, which is sad for the girl.

I don't know. If you want to have sex, at least do it with someone you actually have something with, some sort of connection, someone you actually like at least. Casual sex is fcking gross I swear. And now movies are coming out that make it look like it's really fun and really normal? Seriously, humanity. What the fuck. What the fuck Natalie Portman. Honestly the most disgusting men on earth are the ones who think they're so damn cool because they go around banging a million girls. It fucking turns me off more than anything. H8 H8 H8