I think the truth hurts but I would rather be told than be led on like a fool, happy in my oblivion but a sucker in everyone else's eyes. Perhaps some would prefer to revel in blissful ignorance but would it be prudent to enjoy the company of someone who is not who you think? I think there is clearly no future there - someone must keep denying and someone else must keep lying. The problem is that somewhere along the way, the one who is lying will realize how tired he is of it, and he will stop. And that bubble will burst and the worst feeling in the world, is discovering that you have invested and trusted so much in someone only to have him take your trust, and treat it like shit.

That's the fucking problem with society. Trust, on one hand, will always be essential to having stable relationships around you. It is needed not to be wracked with paranoia and insecurity, not to be a manic, psycho person everyone prays they will not become. On the other hand, everything about lying, concealing, hiding is prevalent and tempting. In movies, everyone's always cheating. In reality, adultery happens all the time. Divorce rates are through the roof. Articles tell you it is prudent to separate your savings from your spouse. Famous bloggers tell you being paranoid is correct. 


How annoying is it that the moral fabric of society trickles down to affect the people who try not to contribute to its degradation? How bad things always happen to good people, men who chase younger women who flirt with the attention, leaving devastated wives who work hard to care for their families. Loving parents who are abandoned by children seeking more power, more success, more money. I think you can never trust society not to trifle with the people you love, not to trifle with you.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing is all the indignant anger that can build up simply from thinking about this, people dismiss with the seemingly conclusive phrase, "well, life's not fair." And all that's left is a sense of helplessness, and insignificance. It is never overwhelming, but it is persistent and clingy. Sometimes I understand why people choose to die, choose to disconnect from this world. I can see how the other side is better. I want to go to that place where life is fair, where everybody gets what they deserve, where the moral fabric of society is irrelevant. Heaven, where our human flaws will diminish into nothingness. But in the meantime we must wait, and we must endure this imperfect world.