as the days go by i am reminded of my intellectual ineptitude. what is fucking new. i'm damn angsty because of this i know but also i don't really care that i'm angsty because i feel like if i don't get it out i am not going to be able to complete this stupid essay. this is even harder than the essay i did on neocorporatism when i understood jack shit, this time i understand most things but it's still so mofo hard. i don't know if it's because i am setting high expectations of myself for this essay or because it's just difficult in general but i am really struggling. 

we're heading to bintan on wednesday till friday and i didn't intend to study at all, but the situation now looks as if i'll have to over there... which is retarded... sun, sand and readings. great! FUCK FUCK FUCK