I thought about something.
When I watched the NDP 2012, I was struck by how touched I was. Usually it's lame but there's always that one segment, where they feature different Singaporeans and they talk about their lives... I'm very sure it's scripted but on the other hand it's still very touching because I'm sure the people in the films, in agreeing to be filmed, to a certain extent (especially the older Singaporeans) truly are proud and happy that Singapore is their home.
I thought at that moment, I know I'm a Singaporean. And I'm proud to be one. There was a certain point in my life where I stopped saying things like, "I've got to get out of here" and "I hate Singapore". A country is not about the state apparatus that confines you -- Singapore is not its pressure-cooker education system, nor is it its over-inflated HDB prices.
Isn't it a little ridiculous that people who live in fucking true, legitimate DICTATORSHIPS still love their country and pledge patriotism true and true, while we, who live in fucking PEACE AND PROSPERITY have the audacity to curse Singapore and call it a shithole?
A government and its policies are not a country. They are not the nation.
Singaporeans make Singapore. We are the nation.
That video during NDP, that shot of an aunty bringing some kueh to her friends in some National Parks sponsored 'green space' -- I thought, those are the people I love. And they really are. The aunty who gives me a smile if I help her down the stairs or with her groceries, those ah bengs or mats you get trapped in a lift with who always have the funniest, funniest things to say, the hawker uncle who gave Gus extra chili at Adam Road hawker center, the man who is some big shit at PSA who makes it for church every Sunday, the door bitch at the club who sometimes lets you in free, the tattoo artist at Far East who is really old, the girl who always volunteers for WWF events, almost everybody who shaved their heads for Hair for Hope.
I feel like I'm always trying to clamour for the bright lights of some Western, forward city, bursting with art and pomp and "interesting things" that I often forget that things exist at home that are enough for me.
This could be clichéd but Mr Brown is a very good example of someone who is constantly, almost annoyingly critical of the government through and through, but also someone who loves Singapore very much.
Recently I feel like maybe I've somewhat lost touch with that, of how much I am a Singaporean, how much Singaporean-ness exists in me that may be discriminated elsewhere (in the more pretentious circles of good English and quirky personalities I suppose), but it's true and something I shouldn't try to repress.
Singaporeans really make me feel at home, make me feel like myself.
Any Singaporean who genuinely denies this doesn't deserve to be Singaporean at all.
I love Singapore so much I could cry.
Happy National day, guys
Thank you for being Singaporeans <3
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