I thought this would be harder. Something seems out of place but it hasn't materialised. I think this means, me and you, you and I, we're better than we thought. I feel shame for thinking this was not possible.

As Seneca recommends, I am learning to linger in my own company.

Marty told me a theory as to why democracy simply does not work. I remember it now because I thought it was extremely plausible. He said somebody proposed that the maximum number of people that we can give a shit about is limited to 150. That is, only 150 people that you know are worth you giving them the time of day, from as little as a cursory thought to heavy emotional investment. Everybody beyond 150 is simply your environment, your circumstance, your burden of nature. And you will not give a shit about any of these people if you were asked to.

That is why democracy does not work, because people, you and I, our involuntary essence erodes the core values needed for democracy to 'flourish'. I hate when people say democracy 'flourished', they make it sound like it's something good but it's not. If you think about it, almost every 'democracy' in the world will have an article in the newspapers that says something along the lines of 'but the government is so ___ that we might as well be a dictatorship'

We're not even good at pretending as if we're democratic
I wonder what Jesus thinks of democracy

Nowadays I feel as if I can reduce 150 to 10.

People scream, I hate living with my parents/being with my parents, I want my freedom, I want to DO WHAT I WANT! And then they move out and go right on to do what everybody else wants

Things I really want to do, in no particular order:

- not go to school
- lie in bed
- touch Gus's tummy because it looks like he's losing weight