i had a good day. i must study more than i am at the moment. caleb talked to me the other day about how to make studying more enjoyable and actually interest myself in what i'm obliged to read... it all goes back to not giving a shit what anyone else wants/thinks of you and doing things for yourself because fuck everyone else that's why

i feel like we've become unexplored islands again
unchartered territories across which we're inching our way slowly
and i really mean inching
it's good. i like the inching
this time we give each other more respect before tearing at the seams
no more tearing
now we will pick the thread apart with care so nobody bleeds

i need to eat more, sleep less, study more, care less, does that make any sense?

we've thought about this how maybe God would see things
it's comforting, sort of
silver lining, excelsior, all that stuff
could never see that this was God's plan
don't know if it really is, but if it is, i'm glad for it
and that makes it all the easier to bear