i don't have anything to talk about anymore, sometimes i feel

did i just type like yoda

i have been playing tennis and doing exercises at home fairly regularly i think. i gym sometimes. i try to eat better (not always successful) and today i started drinking more water (2 cups so far... not great progress imo). have been more excited about 'cooking' and the limited options that open to me (limited by my lack of any cooking skills obviously) and thus the implication that i can probably only make salads for a long time to come... the other day gus ruined four eggs before he boiled another three to hard boiled perfection and made me egg mayo on toast. it was the best egg mayo i've tasted

another thing is that i changed my wallpaper to a phrase "this is a fight you can win" because all i ever view this as is that, a fight, against myself but i must win against myself. i find it so ridiculous that there are these two personas battling in the same person, one that wants to drag me to the pits of depression and self-pity, and the other (much more difficult to channel) is the one that wants to bring me to a land of light, books, peace of mind... dare i say it... 'happiness'

because i've realised it's so important to feel good about yourself and in johnny depp's words, 'if you're not on your side how can you expect anyone else to be?' which i feel is a valid statement and something that i've been keeping in mind. i have been making very conscious choices every day at every minute pertaining to whatever may be relevant at the moment, but choices that make me feel stronger and surer at the end of everyday (most of the time). i have those moments, driving in the car alone, waiting to fall asleep, when everything comes rushing back to me like a tidal wave but at least i don't cry anymore when they happen (most of the time). i just sort of force myself to think about something else because what people don't really remember i suppose is that tidal waves also recede

more photos from taiwan