Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) directed by Michel Gondry

     

      

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot?
The world forgetting and the world forgot
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned
-- Alexander Pope

this movie is so famous there's hardly any need to get into it. i can't believe i've taken so long to watch it, but it was beautiful in more ways than one. i thought jim carrey was so great, i couldn't believe it was him. i think this film easily weaseled its way into my favourites list, and i admit i felt my hearts open the door for it.

the only thing i wanted to note was why i think i might have felt so strongly about it. i didn't know this film was about forgetting the people who have hurt you or made you feel like shit. not so long ago i had this thought. what if i never ever knew anybody in my life who matters to me. what if i had grown up all alone. sure, i'd be lonely as hell, but i would never know loss. i would never know what it was like to be hurt. i would never have to cry over somebody and feel that ache that only comes with losing a part of you.

what if i had never known Gus?

right now i'd say that is such bullshit, of course i want to know him. that's unconditional. i'm super duper happy that he's in my life. but if the time comes where simply looking at him makes me choke on my own tears -- how lovely it would be to wake up one morning and not know who he was at all.

the film concludes that attempting to forget bad memories goes hand in hand with forgetting the good. trying to lose all the hurt means losing everything beautiful that ever existed together with that memory. and that it basically isn't worth it. yes, it hurts, but there is a sacred ebb of light that thrives on a love that once was wholesome and untainted that should not be touched.

a coward would erase everything and choose not to remember anything at all
but a real man chooses to see that the beauty in loss is that you even had it in the first place

that is something i'm trying to learn
but it makes me cry

Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011) - directed by David Gelb











i loved this documentary. it reminded of the vast difference between the privileges we (as a collective youth) receive nowadays, unasked for, and that of those born more than half a century before us. it is astounding the kind of individuals the difference has shaped.

 it is more than just a film about sushi -- it is about the work ethic of an 85 year old japanese man, while hardened by childhood hardships, has maintained an outlook on life and on his work that i can only describe as wise aloofness. when he visits his parents tombstones in the cemetery, he says with a genuine laugh: 'i don't know why i come here. they never took care of me.' he exudes a self-dependency even at 85, a quality ripened through years of striving.

his work is essentially his life. for 75 years he has done the same job, and it is surprising -- the monotony of it is an appeal to him. everyday he does the same thing but constantly strives to improve his 'craft', that of improving the taken-for-granted sushi. his passion and self-discipline is passed on to his two younger sons, who, in true asian fashion, have similarly become respected and notable sushi chefs.

but beyond that, there is a touching, almost sad family dynamic that surfaces. a father eager to leave his legacy in the living hands of his sons, two sons burdened with the fame and skill of their father's shadow, but a beautiful, moving understanding between the three that there is something bigger at hand than themselves. as asians we are taught never to complain, to listen to your elders, obey your parents. on one hand that can be seen as passivity, lack of backbone, weakness. but in the documentary, it is done not out of fear, or social protocol, but out of love, a fierceness to protect, an understanding of a legacy, such that the self becomes unimportant. the family becomes everything. i think the most grand touch is that in a family of three grown men, this dynamic is subtle, not apparent. in a way you end the film knowing all this without any of it having ever really explained itself.

his son, yoshikazu, ends the documentary with these words:

Always look ahead and above yourself... that's what he taught me. 

in this day and age where the self has become the primary unit of attention, i me mine, all the time, i loved this documentary for its reminder that there are bigger things than making yourself happy. i think that is what i am beginning to realize. happiness comes later, naturally

Jeux D'enfants *SPOILER ALERT*

This film is directed by Yann Samuell, starring Guillaume Canet and Marion Cotillard. French love films kind of always have that surreal yet poignant quality about them. It's like they all have a little bit of Amélie in them. This film... sigh. I don't know. I wanted to love it very badly but, in the end I'm not so sure. 

books in line to be read this holiday

so far:

juliet, naked by nick hornby (finished)
nausea by sartre (finishing finished)
norwegian wood by murakami
lotr1 by tolkien
the brief wondrous life of oscar wao by junot diaz
good omens by neil gaiman
skippy dies by paul murray
do androids dream of electric sheep by philip dick

Some i've been meaning to read for a long time, others I simply found recommended a lot and want to try.

Movies:

Chungking Express
Jeux D'enfants
Je Vais Bien, Ne T'en Fais Pas

Also going to sign up for an Alliance Francaise membership and get more DVDs from there, plus watch free films every Tuesday. Yay!