Everybody is getting riled up by the opposition. They talk about how the PAP has been ineffective, offering quick-fix solutions right before elections but not for the past five years, using GST but redistributing only less than half of the tax revenue to the poor, etc. They slam the PAP for doing all these things... and then? Offer some flimsy rhetoric about how they won't be the same because "we care for Singaporeans", "we will put your interests first", "we will grow your wages", bla bla bla. It seems many people are being enticed by this, swayed by this sudden outburst of care.

We have to listen to what they are actually saying. Where are the constructive ideas? Where are the practical paths of actions? You cannot be satisfied by mere rhetoric. You do not vote people into parliament to spew motivational speak but possess idle hands. It seems many people are getting into the hype of voting for opposition for the sake of voting for opposition, not something that has gone unmentioned by LKY himself. To put it bluntly, it is the trend now. Which is horrible. Politics should not have trends. Politics should be based on solid ideas and proposals, based on deliverance.

Consider this: a party that must resort to slamming the PAP for its inadequacies might only be doing so to look better in comparison. But remove anything said about the PAP (because it convinces you that whatever else they say will be better) and what do you have? Do you have legitimate policy proposals? Do you have convincing courses of actions to be taken? Good speaking does not equal capability.

Maybe Singapore should go to the dogs for awhile. I've told Gus this before, sometimes I feel the PAP does not have to impose such systemic impediments on the opposition. This GE, let's say the opposition wins a few GRCs, enough to overturn 2/3 majority votes in parliament. But I believe the PAP is capable, much more so than the opposition. For the next 5 years perhaps, Singapore will become lethargic and unproductive. Let people see what happens when they do vote without thinking. That will wake them up, make them see politics and elections are nothing to trifle with, things to toy around without serious consideration. You have to know what you want to be better for your life, you have to listen to who sounds like they will genuinely make an effort to give you that.

I am not saying people should therefore vote PAP without question. No. If you genuinely listen to the rally speeches, the things people say, and are convinced that they are the ones -- then go ahead. Vote for them. But if you haven't even listened to anything and you're spouting your loyalty and support for this and that party. I see people saying things like "Gonna vote for opposition :D", referring to them as a collective which is WRONG. You do not vote for all opposition, you vote for ONE party. You vote for WP. You vote for SPP. You vote for SDP. You do not vote for opposition, because being the opposition does not make you automatically competent. 


In my personal opinion, the PAP has some severe faults that can be pointed out -- inflation rates, wages, GST on essential goods, minister's salaries. But there are many things you can also say thank you for. They have delivered in many aspects. If you are intent on voting for the opposition, please take the time to listen carefully to what they are offering. Do not vote blindly because there is that "air of change". Do not think that "everyone is going to vote for PAP, so I'll just vote for the opposition" because when everybody thinks like that, nobody is going to like the end result.

If you must vote opposition, the best party to go for is undoubtedly the WP. They have good ideas put forth, they have some parliamentary experience and they are led by sincere and capable leaders. They came close to winning Aljunied the last GE, and I think they stand a very good chance this year. If there was any opposition I wanted to win, it would be the WP. I also think they are the most likely to effectively be incorporated and considered in parliament. They know how to work within the rules, move step-by-step. They are reasonable and I think the PAP will find them easiest to co-exist with, which is important as well.

Ugh, I dunno. Feeling very frustrated. I know nothing much will change -- "the PAP is the government." That will remain for at least the next ten years. But people must not take this lightly. This is their lives and their futures that they are toying around with. Don't be stupid, basically. Take time to listen. Think carefully. Do not think your vote doesn't matter, and I am going to say something extremely cliché but I say it now because it is important: your vote counts. Don't simply jump the bandwagon. Vote wisely.

--

Otherwise, on a brighter note, an appropriately timed joke:

Q: Who are the only three prime ministers Singapore has had?
A: The Father, the Son and the Holy Goh

BAHAHAHA I laughed so hard

also, this:



OOOOMMMMGGGGG I AM SO FCKING EXCITED SRSLY OMG. on the other hand i don't want to watch it at all, i don't want to believe this is the end, i don't want to :'( I WILL BE SO SAD UGH what a magical world WHY AM I A MUGGLE, WHY. WHY. WHY.

OMGGGGGG I'm at Sam's house now with Gus, and his two dark brown labradors are chilling around me while I do my work on the com! :') We used to come here a lot and play with them, then Sam left for Australia so I haven't seen them in three months!!! I miss them a lot. Their names are Coco and Buddy SUPER CUTE. I want to bring Meelo to come play with them. I want to cry already because Buddy is really old... 14 years. He walks slow and his eyes are a little cloudy. Sometimes he whimpers. He just put his head under a stool haha.

BUDDY! But he took his head out already

Gus just came over to play with Buddy with me. Buddy is so old he won't even walk around, he just lies down most of the time. I googled average lifespan of a labrador, and it said about 12 - 14 years. Which is how old Buddy is. So I cried because I looked at Buddy and I couldn't imagine him leaving. Gus says it might be any time, in his sleep or whatever. I don't want him to go... I googled average lifespan of a cocker spaniel and it said 9-15 years. Meelo is 7 years. I hope she lives forever

Gonna spend the rest of the time reading party manifestos. Or in PAP's case, watching a video powerpoint presentation. They've already got the edge with strains of Home playing in the background, emotional manipulation, etc. Can't wait for tomorrow so we can finally confirm all the candidates. Read that only Tanjong Pagar GRC & Ang Mo Kio GRC. One helmed by LKY the other by LHL. It's smart not to contest la... slowly right. Cannot be too ambitious.

Also found out George Yeo had a talk with Xiaxue! BAHAHAHA I want to see a clip of dat. And Chen Show Mao is bilingual as fck man jeez I'm impressed. He's seriously fluent and eloquent in both, normally this is quite difficult! You listen to even Lee Hsien Loong talk, his chinese isn't that good. He takes awhile. And I think the hype over Nicole Seah is a bit too much... I mean she's hardly proven her mettle, and she's only 24. I mean, no matter what, more experience is always better. In my honest opinion I think Marine Parade will go to PAP again, if only because GCT is heading it. But they won't win by a huge margin. It's interesting! Can't wait for the results...

studying with bert yesterday was fun. i downed a whole cup of kopi-c and until now i still don't know if it helped me. i quite like it though, but i don't dare to drink too much.

kopi-c 70c vs java chip $5.50
should've started drinking kopi much earlier

we have established a nice corner to study, on the fifth level in the reference section. we sit in a triangle. once in awhile i will notice movement to my right and in my peripheral i can see bert playing fruit ninja. around 12pm or so we will go eat lunch at the deck. i love breaks

today i cannot go to school due to some logistical problems but gus is picking me up soon and we are going to eat lunch at airport. i love the airport! we are going to eat sausage prata. i think i am very late but basically it is an awesome invention. sausage and lettuce, with mayo generously spread on top, wrapped in a prata. WHAT.

last night gus skyped with abel for awhile and my sister was in the room. she doesn't understand their mindgames so she asked "why does he say everything in reverse" and i laughed because only gus and his friends talk like that, it's unique to them and it's hilarious. sometimes i really feel amazed at the genius of it. it's genius because somehow everything about it can crack you up, even the littlest things that people say in sincerity becomes funny. IT'S FUNNY

time to hit the books before gus picks me up. exams in two days, i hate university. moving house this sunday, yay! hope all the construction work is done by then. i am ready to change and get out of this unfriendly neighbourhood. to be fair the other one does not look any more inviting, but the neighbours have two lovely dogs!!! a golden retriever and a black lab. although, again, to be fair, my neighbours now have the exact same dogs. but they are not friendly to meelo. so i hope our neighbours dogs are friendly because that means i can play with them too. they will be so big compared to meelo though. MAYBE THEY WILL ADOPT HER awwwwwwwwww dat wuld b kewt

yesterday was my brother's 21st birthday. happy birthday jun! i like that i call him by a name that only my family calls him by. it is like a secret code. except now that i've blogged it everybody knows so it is not secret anymore.

i am so excited for tomorrow, bert and i are going to study in school early in the morning at 8ish, but first at 8.15, we are going to sit at the deck and drink coffee like ah peks. basically it is my virgin experience drinking coffee that is not starbucks or some kind of cappuccino/espresso/latte/etc. just hardcore, plain coffee. she asked her dad what is the most hardcore coffee and he said, "kopi gao kosong" which is coffee with more powder and no sugar/milk. that sounds damn gross so now she is asking what is a nicer one but still has kick TEEHEE

11.34pm. going to read deathly hallows (again) until 12mn and then sleep. the next three days are going to be miserable...

really great article in Yale Daily News. and i'm a little late on good friday, but i think Jesus always appreciates us saying thank you and appreciating what he did on the cross. anyway, i think this article captures what we should be feeling on good friday quite nicely.

background: some pranksters affixed a cross with a "ROFL" sign on top of it in the Yale campus. this is a response.

Two days ago, a cross with the mocking sign “ROFL” affixed was placed on Cross Campus. Yesterday, Jordon Walker ’13 published a much-commented-on article condemning the insulting prank and the lack of response (“An insulting prank and hypocritical response,” April 20). Today is Good Friday. 

I agree that the prank was insulting and hurtful. I agree that the lack of response reveals a double standard between how we treat Christianity and how we treat other religions and viewpoints on campus. And I am not sure whether this double standard is justified by Christianity’s unique standing in our society.
But today is Good Friday. 

How should we react to this insulting symbol during Holy Week? How should we understand the ROFL cross? Consider first what ROFL is replacing. According to the Christian tradition, when Pontius Pilate had Jesus crucified, he placed a sign above his head that sarcastically hailed him “Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews.” Pilate had a vicious wit. Christians assimilated the Latin acronym of this sign — INRI — into their tradition, and have kept it on the top of crosses ever since. But it was always a mockery. 

Does ROFL belong on a Christian cross? Perhaps we should ask instead: Does the Christian cross belong on a Christian? Christians have worn the symbol on their chests and emblazoned it on their banners for two millennia. But the cross is nothing more than an instrument of torture used to kill criminals, traitors and a Jew named Jesus. Why would a Christian display a cross with pride? The cross is an insult. The cross is the thing that humiliated and killed God. 

Really, the cross does not belong on the Christian; the Christian belongs on the cross. For the Christian believes that, but for the grace of God and the sacrifice of Christ, he or she would bear the penalty that Christ bore instead. The suffering and death belonged by right to the Christian, not to Christ — and yet, the Christian believes, Christ took them upon himself. This is why the Christian holds up the cross; and the cross is meaningless if it is no longer a reminder of this painful, mocking fact. This is why the Christian remembers Christ’s suffering and death and calls it Good Friday.
And today is Good Friday. 

And really, it is when Christianity has forgotten this fact that the faith has been at its worst. It is because Christians forgot what the cross meant that they were able to paint it on their shields and march to the crusades. That they were able to paint it on their seals and hold empires, that they were able to paint it on their robes and hold an Inquisition. Who could torture heretics while remembering that the cross they wear is the cross upon which their beloved God was tortured? Who could kill and conquer under the cross if they understood that it was a symbol of their Lord’s mockery and death? Who could march to the crusades with ROFL painted on their shields? 

Christianity is a strange and paradoxical creed, and the cross is at the center of it. Its glory is precisely in its King’s shame and defeat; it honors its humiliation, lives by its death, loves its enemies. It is nonsensical and beautiful. If Christianity forgets this, it forgets itself.
Today is Good Friday. Good. For those among us who are Christian, it is good to remember Jesus’ suffering and death today. Good to remember him being beaten and mocked and killed. Good to remember that he was beaten and mocked and killed so that you didn’t have to be — because you deserved it, because that was your punishment that he bore. 

So if you are hurt by the ROFL cross, if you are mocked by it, then you should be glad. It means you understand Good Friday. Take up the ROFL cross, because it is the cross of Christ; carry it with pride and humiliation, as you have carried the INRI cross, because on it, your King was mocked, killed and victorious. 

And on Easter Sunday, roll on the floor laughing. Because people then, as now, went to such lengths to humiliate Jesus, to mock Jesus, and ultimately to kill Jesus 

And it didn’t work. ROFL.

-- Garrett Fiddler, Yale Daily News

a difficult decision

lately i have been struggling very much with something that i am ashamed to come out with. mainly because i had a certain mindset a few months ago, and now my mindset is not quite the same anymore, and i feel like a hypocrite. funny, how things changed. before i was so determined, so certain about what i believed was the right thing to do. and now i see so many loopholes, so many traps in the plan. it is exactly what i studied today, heuristic processing and poor estimation -- sometimes when we are determined in our beliefs we neglect very important, consequentially changing information.

today i decide to just come right out with it, maybe because i have taken a couple of big swigs from a bottle of Moet an hour ago, but mostly because i keep this blog for myself more than for anyone else who reads it. i used to always care what people thought if they ever read my blog but i realised recently that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. i'll say it right now to anybody who is reading, but i say it mostly as a reminder to myself not to make snap judgements and decisions on things like these, not to base it on an ideal or image, but to be logical, reasoned and mature in my thinking.

basically i've been deciding whether or not to really go to bristol. prior to this i've always championed going overseas, saying it's a good experience, saying there'll never be another time like it, bla bla bla. and i think i did believe it at the time. i'd always argue with gus for such a long time about staying vs going. but now i see where he was coming from. it was a culmination of events really, different things different people said, other major things that happened in my life. and suddenly i didn't like the idea of leaving that much. i realized i kept defending reasons to stay in singapore versus leaving for the uk. things that i had totally shot down before suddenly weren't so ridiculous. so over the past few weeks i've been pondering and speaking to several different people, including friends who are in the uk, gus, my parents, etc. i still haven't decided, but i'm on my way, although to be honest something my dad said hit home for me. i always trust my dad because he is very wise (do not argue with me) and he only wants the best for me. but he said, the fact that i'm not completely sure, that i'm half-hearted, probably means i'm not ready. he said if people leave with half-hearted intentions they normally end up having a horrible time, but if you go with a goal and with the knowledge that you want this, then it will be a blast.

i imagine myself in bristol, 3 months and dying to come home. it is unknown if i will have friends or not... if i managed to shrink my social circle this much in singapore, it probably will not magically expand there. i imagine i will miss my family very much. that i may not be with gus anymore due to the pressure. that the gloomy weather will do nothing to make me feel happier. that people will be so racist i might snap. but then i think about how i can visit paris, rome, vienna, berlin! i think about how it must feel to have a dorm room and people walking in and out freely. i think about how it's an opportunity to make new friends and meet new people. i'm very torn and it is eating me alive. i really can't decide, but i must decide at least by june.

i think this is borne out of the fact that i've always imagined going overseas as an ideal. something that would make me special or unique, different from everybody else. i thought it would set me apart, basically. i've always seen it as an image but never comprehended it as a reality. i never used to think about the downsides of going overseas. worse still, i never actually thought about if i was ready for it. it sounds stupid, i sound childish and immature. tonnes of people go overseas at my age, even younger. but i guess i'm just not. i'm not prepared to just drop everything here and leave. i've come to accept that and i don't think i should be coerced into thinking so by society, that i need to get out of here to learn to be independent or be special. i'm not sure when i learnt this. maybe in school, probably, when i see people my age who are, in all honesty, completely brilliant. and they are just like me. average singaporeans who have come out of your average singaporean education system. and i have no doubt in my mind they will go on to be very successful. so sure, i have some grudges with NUS as a school. there are a few things i cannot stand. but overall it is not that bad a place for education. it's funny, i always tell my friend who has problems in the UK, i said, 'things will be better as long as you want them to be. you can't be so negative and cynical all the time.' yet that's exactly the way i am with NUS. so yes i am a hypocrite sometimes.

all this being said, i still haven't decided. but i just wanted to let it out, come out with it that i was wrong to say those things without thinking through it as thoroughly as i should have. i know it is a great opportunity to get to study overseas and many people don't get this chance. but i don't think that is a valid enough reason for me to justify going. there really has to be a desire and a passion to go. i think maybe once, it was there, but not anymore. or if it is, it has faded considerably. and that is reason enough to consider. if you don't leave with proper intention and with your heart and head in the right place, you are just wasting your parents' money. so.

that is all.

in the morning my mother fetched me to j8 where i had breakfast with gus at yakun. we put too much black sauce with our eggs, dipped our toast into it and enjoyed. i like to spread the square of butter over the surface of the entire toast... if not it seems unfair. i also don't like to bite into such a concentrated chunk of butter. it feels unhealthier.

then i drove to school and studied with bert. demoralized, is all i can say. the feeling you get when you read, and read, and read and can only think, 'what is the point?' meaning, i do not understand a fuck. furthermore i looked at my lecture notes and i cannot find the reading on the main points of the lecture. so overall a very befuddling day. the library gets crowded around 930am with everybody trying to cram in the hours. around 2pm people look so drained and tired, it's a very sad scene

i left at 4pm to pick up my sister from school because my mother was sick, so i wanted to do her a favour. in the morning she coughed a lot while driving. i came home and lolled around in bed. i entertained the thought of studying more. i entertained it until suddenly it was 745pm and time for dinner.

there is this girl who is a friend... not exactly. we don't hang out, we are not close or anything but we know each other. and basically she is "amazing." i understand she is extremely smart, super hardworking, fairly well off, "hot" by society's perceptions, has a fun social life, etc. she is one year older than i am. when i see her updates on facebook i always think. well why can't i be like her. but then today i caught myself doing that and reminded myself that, i can't be like her because i am not her and there is no point in this vicious trap of coveting, except to make me feel shitty about myself. and why do i have to do that? the only legit reasons humans have to feel shitty about themselves is if they are genuinely horrible people (e.g. dictators, extreme racists, serial killers, over-self-absorbed beings, etc) which i'm inclined to believe that i am... not. so i don't need a reason to feel that i am a piece of shit. i will save that for when i really am a piece of shit i.e. unemployed thirty-year-old woman weighing 90kg in obvious mid-life crisis

my meelo

also it's funny, in the morning i told my mum that my dog, meelo (she's a cocker spaniel), her hind legs looked kinda funny when she walked. she's kinda dragging them more than she is actively using them and so i was a bit worried. but in the end she wasn't in pain or anything, so i put it down to the fact that she's getting a bit old (seven human years now). but it worried me a bit. and just a few hours ago i found out a good friend's dog just passed away from a heart attack, but her dog is really old, older than mine. i feel very sad because i've played with her dog before. he's a very playful maltese, can be fierce at times but still a great dog. i cannot imagine her pain but i started to think that if meelo ever left i would be so depressed. yesterday i walked her and she would pull me in all directions to smell all kinds of things. she is still active now but i really dread the day she can barely move. sometimes i don't show it but i love my meelo a lot.