not sure how many days now i've woken up feeling like my body isn't mine
i don't mean that in a philosophical sense
i mean i wake up and some part of my body has fallen into an abyss of pain/discomfort
and everything is connected
my bones, my organs, my blood, my skin
i am everything that is hurting
but i cannot reach that part, i cannot do anything
i cannot make it better

helpless
is how my body makes me feel nowadays

does anybody know what i mean?
seems silly that i cannot simply reach down my throat
and massage my abdomen
or simply slip past my skin
and un-kink those knots in my muscles

it's my body after all
how come i can't do anything to it