i'd like to think that over the past four years since i ended jc that i've grown up
even just a little bit
sometimes i still feel like i'm 17
trying to assert some aspect of me that wasn't real

making friendships that amounted to nothing
that's the saddest part maybe
but also the truest and most distinct

if a criminal ran from the police into a large crowd of people
and the police yelled 'everybody get down'
all the heads would fall in sync and leave
the frame of my silly, weak friendships
stark against the sea of hands over heads

that is, i guess, how i characterize those two years

i am about 65% glad they are over