school starts in two days... how abysmal. my first and only lecture on monday begins at 4pm and ends at 6pm. the point of traveling all the way to clementi for that is starting to lose its influence, if there was any in the first place...
today I spent a grand total of $28, $18 of which was spent splurging on bak kut teh for my mother and my aunties. I read my book while Gus watched jackass 3d. honestly I'm shocked none of them have died yet, I feel like the longer they do things like these one of them is bound to crack his head open from landing on concrete after hurling themselves fifty feet into the air in a trolley via catapult. I also feel like it will be my favourite jackass boy, johnny knoxville :(
I've decided this: a book needs to have something shocking in order to be good. big brother, clones, bokanovsky processes, etc. adultery, death... what's shocking about that? if anything it's banal. so I've resolved to finish this list of 'best' dystopian & post-apocalyptic novels:
fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury
i am legend by richard matheson
the road by cormac mccarthy
a clockwork orange by anthony burgess (i didn't know this was considered dystopian)
we by yevgeny zamyatin (inspired the plots of both BNW and 1984)
the diamond age, or a young lady's illustrated primer by neal stephenson
a canticle for leibowitz by walter m.miller, jr
the book of the new sun by gene wolfe
do androids dream of electric sheep? by philip k. dick
neuromancer by william gibson
world war z by max brooks
the sword of spirits by john christopher
a handmaid's tale by margaret atwood
that hideous strength by c.s. lewis
the sheep look up by john brunner
the hunger games by suzanne collins
brave new world by aldous huxley
nineteen eighty-four by george orwell
v for vendetta by alan moore and david lloyd
uhhh 13 left. of course with school readings about to pile on, I think it'll be awhile before I come anywhere close to completing the list. some of them are even trilogies, so... although funnily enough, I already have 'the road' I've just never finished it. so I will attempt to. I like dystopian novels, funnily enough... nothing like fear to get a message across, right
9.1.11
8.1.11
Earn your first dollar when you're 5
Chief Executive Officer, age 18
24 year old earns her 1st million, read page 6 to find out how she did it!
Business
business
business
Handshakes, cheques, ball points, breathmints, smart suit, Louboutin, Chanel, aftershave, flawless face, Pinot Noir, I'm on my way to a great life
Car, land, house, pretty wife, capable husband, smart kids, jetsetter, ass kisser, bull shitter. At least my mouth smells nice
Everything!
more
more,
more.
Money
money
money
Fuck you
-- via tammy's blog
agreed! fuck you indeed
today I finished reading 'one day' by david nicholls. I've always enjoyed british writers, especially the witty ones who commit to making everything kind of a satirical monologue about looming middle-aged crises, like nick hornby. the brits have a certain wit and humor about them that no one else does, I don't understand why they alone have been blessed with it. think Russell Brand on a good day, but sharper and more eloquent; less gesticulation and fanatical smiling about sex. I guess this book did have that element of humor, but it was, in the end just a very, very sad book. I didn't even feel happy at the end even though the protagonist was supposed to have been.
things I hate in books:
adultery
death
unfortunately it has become a pre-requisite for contemporary fiction to include these things so I take them in my stride. I understand without one of the two perhaps a book would lose any impact, but every time I read a paragraph revealing an affair my heart plummets ten floors; the characters are fictional but I always feel so outraged on behalf on the cheated (I suppose that is when you can tell someone is a good writer). so this book is about a man and a woman who are pretty much destined to be together but torn apart for twenty years due to differences in life mottos, ambition, etc. I expected the plot to be a little flat but I think he crafts the characters so well that even though the plot sounds predictable, you want to know how every little detail goes down. and there is a twist at the end! which is where the story fell into the depths of depression. sometimes I wish I just read a happy storybook. but I liked it overall, maybe you'll like it too, if you've ever read nick hornby's 'high fidelity' and liked it, because it's somewhat like it in character
anyway I also liked it because at the beginning, they are both fresh university graduates on the brink of adulthood, something I suppose I will face in a short three, four years more. the idea of that unknown always scares me. instead of thinking it is a 'canvas waiting to be painted' I choose to adopt the slightly more morbid idea of 'being pushed into the middle of the atlantic ocean at night and left there alone'. fear, I think, more than anything. not so much excitement; just an anxiousness. make it or break it. I don't like that phrase very much.
--
today I read the news: london authorities declare the threat of terrorism to be on 'high alert'. this put me in a bit of a seizure... everything about Europe being Al Qaeda's new playground makes me nervous. that is where I want to do so many things!!! I don't want it blown to shreds. and I don't want people to die, of course. I WANT TO GO THERE IN MARCH WITH GUS, I was talking to him about it, telling him of all the soccer matches we could watch, in Manchester, London... (he dismissively waved the idea of watching a Chelsea match away: 'I don't care for the other clubs' the true United fan he is) go up to Paris to stare at hot Parisian girls and do things he'll hate like sit in little cafes and watch Parisian life sail by. money is an issue. as always. BUT I'M SO EXCITED
I'm looking at the outline for my French module come school starts. it is quite intimidating. nothing is in English so I am staring blankly at a bunch of letters, some of which I can guess the meaning, some I don't. I know these phrases: parles vous francais, je ma pel -name-, j'adore, j'taime and my favourite, menage a trois hahahahahahahaha
things I hate in books:
adultery
death
unfortunately it has become a pre-requisite for contemporary fiction to include these things so I take them in my stride. I understand without one of the two perhaps a book would lose any impact, but every time I read a paragraph revealing an affair my heart plummets ten floors; the characters are fictional but I always feel so outraged on behalf on the cheated (I suppose that is when you can tell someone is a good writer). so this book is about a man and a woman who are pretty much destined to be together but torn apart for twenty years due to differences in life mottos, ambition, etc. I expected the plot to be a little flat but I think he crafts the characters so well that even though the plot sounds predictable, you want to know how every little detail goes down. and there is a twist at the end! which is where the story fell into the depths of depression. sometimes I wish I just read a happy storybook. but I liked it overall, maybe you'll like it too, if you've ever read nick hornby's 'high fidelity' and liked it, because it's somewhat like it in character
anyway I also liked it because at the beginning, they are both fresh university graduates on the brink of adulthood, something I suppose I will face in a short three, four years more. the idea of that unknown always scares me. instead of thinking it is a 'canvas waiting to be painted' I choose to adopt the slightly more morbid idea of 'being pushed into the middle of the atlantic ocean at night and left there alone'. fear, I think, more than anything. not so much excitement; just an anxiousness. make it or break it. I don't like that phrase very much.
--
today I read the news: london authorities declare the threat of terrorism to be on 'high alert'. this put me in a bit of a seizure... everything about Europe being Al Qaeda's new playground makes me nervous. that is where I want to do so many things!!! I don't want it blown to shreds. and I don't want people to die, of course. I WANT TO GO THERE IN MARCH WITH GUS, I was talking to him about it, telling him of all the soccer matches we could watch, in Manchester, London... (he dismissively waved the idea of watching a Chelsea match away: 'I don't care for the other clubs' the true United fan he is) go up to Paris to stare at hot Parisian girls and do things he'll hate like sit in little cafes and watch Parisian life sail by. money is an issue. as always. BUT I'M SO EXCITED
I'm looking at the outline for my French module come school starts. it is quite intimidating. nothing is in English so I am staring blankly at a bunch of letters, some of which I can guess the meaning, some I don't. I know these phrases: parles vous francais, je ma pel -name-, j'adore, j'taime and my favourite, menage a trois hahahahahahahaha
7.1.11
via the great white explorerIt is hard to know the difference between irrational fear and instinct, but fortunate is he who can . Often there is no clear right or wrong option, only the safest one. And if safe was all I wanted, I would have stayed home in Jinja. Too often when trying something no one has ever done, there are only 3 likely outcome: Success, quitting, or serious injury and beyond. The difference in the three, are often forces outside of your control. But this is the nature of the beast: Risk.Anyone who is good at what they do, be it marketing, sports or hairdressing will tell you they trust their instincts. There are rational explanations for people making the right choices based on information they could not have known beforehand but only because we live in a rational world. If you chose this option and believe that all that all there is to know is already known, then that is your boring truth, keep me out of it. Whatever the real reason, I think we all agree that people who can go successfully beyond facts are the ones who excel in any, and all fields.
apparently this man, hendri coetzee, spent a large part of his life kayaking through the rapids of Africa. while part of it was a passion thing, another part of it was a compassion thing. he tried to map out waterways and streams in Africa to help the cause of freshwater accessibility for villagers in many parts of Africa. that's pretty crazy I think. he spends all his time planning his expeditions, getting into trouble with Rwandan authorities (how he describes the Rwandan army: army with a lack of humor that kicks serious ass when and to whom they see fit) and running, like he said, very serious risks with all his expeditions. but that's the life we should aim to lead, isn't it? one chasing after your passion while at the same time having the heart to help people along the way.
but anyway. apparently he died. recently, on dec 7th. a hungry crocodile attacked his kayak and dragged him underneath the whitewater. what I know is this: a crocodile's 'down-bite', which is the part where the upper jaw comes snapping down, has more power in it than you're even thinking. it could've snap your arm right off, yes. but a crocodile has negligible muscles in getting there: if you clamp your hand over the snout of a crocodile, meaning you're holding its jaws together, it would not be able to open its mouth. but if you're simultaneously battling the raging rapids of Africa's rivers, grappling oars in your hands desperately trying to beat off a crocodile that has already begun to lift its upper jaw, and if that's a risk that you were willing to take for your cause... then I think that is a life truly well lived
no fear, that's what I wish I had
decided this blog could use some pictures.
new year's: spent it at harresh's house. he had a water bed that I gleefully rolled around in, while Sandra pondered with me how difficult sex on the bed would be. played lots of taboo and monopoly deal, as well as dance central.. when midnight rolled around everyone seemed unprepared, hastily grabbing confetti shooters and poppers. once it was 12.01am, boys being boys started to pop things unnecessarily in each other's ears. the night was full of that popping sound, again and again. we had sparklers too, and sparklers are always nice if not a little scary sometimes. when I was young my brother and I would go to the park and scrape off the powder from the sparklers, gather it in a huge heap and set it on fire. the dress code was to wear something bright or white. at Gus' house I scrambled to find something in his sister's closet (with permission) and came out with this really funky maxi dress
there were more people but I only have these pictures. they pampered me with a pillow full of beatles' lyrics, most prominently 'i get by with a little help from my friends', which is true in every sense. they also bought me this book of beatles 'treasures' which has reprints of ticket stubs, concert posters, things like that. I really love it. other presents I received: gift vouchers and gift cards to topshop and sephora, a tiffany&co necklace, a brand new MD wallet and a bottle of china vodka. it was a pretty awesome day. we stayed up into the night playing taboo and drinking games. nobody got out-of-control drunk which was what I was afraid of. because it was situated in a very resort-ish looking set up, Gus and I took a stroll and spoke in soft voices because of the silence. the roads were narrow, only enough for a lone buggy to come straddling the tar between its wheels. he held my hand tightly and we walked into the night, until I became tired
and on the 18th, a day after my birthday, before Gus surprised me at the park, we went for dinner at Chili's :)
after looking at the pictures I've decided I don't actually like how I look with make-up on I think I manage to pull of a very trashy look unfortunately haha. I feel the person reading this nodding absentmindedly in agreement, thank you very much!!!!
in my efforts to stop saving (after almost crying from looking at the expenses a trip to the UK in march would cost), I have completely stopped buying clothes (with my own money) and will be buying books using vouchers to kinokuniya and gift cards to borders, as well as eating cheap. so far I think I have saved a tidy sum of money to add to my savings. when tuition starts again I hope I will have a bulging wallet. and when CNY comes I hope that people forget my face so quickly they give me hong baos twice
new year's: spent it at harresh's house. he had a water bed that I gleefully rolled around in, while Sandra pondered with me how difficult sex on the bed would be. played lots of taboo and monopoly deal, as well as dance central.. when midnight rolled around everyone seemed unprepared, hastily grabbing confetti shooters and poppers. once it was 12.01am, boys being boys started to pop things unnecessarily in each other's ears. the night was full of that popping sound, again and again. we had sparklers too, and sparklers are always nice if not a little scary sometimes. when I was young my brother and I would go to the park and scrape off the powder from the sparklers, gather it in a huge heap and set it on fire. the dress code was to wear something bright or white. at Gus' house I scrambled to find something in his sister's closet (with permission) and came out with this really funky maxi dress
everyone being a pussy here
about 10 days before the new year's I had a birthday party in Sentosa. I don't have much pictures because most of them were taken by Gus and he NEVER uploads anything he takes, I don't know what's the point of taking them sometimes
and on the 18th, a day after my birthday, before Gus surprised me at the park, we went for dinner at Chili's :)
obviously my photography skills are nowhere near being considered "imbalanced" if I competed them against any other random person. I don't have pictures from the park, but I think I like it that way. now it just stays in my memories, raw memory of what happened. if I recall it from the recesses of my mind I will be filled with all the happiness I felt sitting on that platform in the park, holding that necklace.
christmas day: he didn't know what to do with his hat. my mom bought it for him and he freaked out because he never wears that kind of hat. I don't think anyone in Singapore does, I don't know what my mum was thinking haha. the other day she asked me if he's worn it out yet, and I said no, and attributed it to the fact that he practically lives in a shirt and his old jc p.e. shorts. she told me to help him dress better
after looking at the pictures I've decided I don't actually like how I look with make-up on I think I manage to pull of a very trashy look unfortunately haha. I feel the person reading this nodding absentmindedly in agreement, thank you very much!!!!
in my efforts to stop saving (after almost crying from looking at the expenses a trip to the UK in march would cost), I have completely stopped buying clothes (with my own money) and will be buying books using vouchers to kinokuniya and gift cards to borders, as well as eating cheap. so far I think I have saved a tidy sum of money to add to my savings. when tuition starts again I hope I will have a bulging wallet. and when CNY comes I hope that people forget my face so quickly they give me hong baos twice
6.1.11
I hate being on my period. I never used to be the kind of person to go through PMS, simply because there wasn't much to piss me off. but now that there's Gus... he gets the brunt of it, mostly. it was stupid: me pacing back and forth the room, crying about how he has to be more serious and committed/he lying on the bed laughing away. finally I snapped, what the hell are you laughing at and he said, that your period is like alcohol and I said, wtf and he said, it's like you can't control any of your emotions anymore. and now I realize I probably really did seem like that. sooooooo I hate being on my period.
just finished 'never let me go' by kazuo ishiguro. deciding whether to watch the movie... mainly because there's one bit in the book where I got quite scared, so I'm thinking I'd be even more freaked about it being acted out at 2.10am. but, for carey mulligan & andrew garfield *drool* MAYBE I will. keira knightley as Ruth? YUCKS i hate her so much. she was so gross in Pirates, I've never gotten over that
anyway the book was quite awesome as it turned out, very heartbreaking towards the end. it's a topic we've often discussed in philosophy, not exactly the idea of clones but of life being nothing more than a technicality, practical in someone else's usage but not your own. and the idea of 'souls' has always been difficult to pin down. when someone is especially cruel, you'd say 'he doesn't have a soul', but we know he does. so what exactly does that mean, anyway? only people who do good things have souls? it's hard to speak about it without getting everything jumbled, and I've had one too many ferrero rochers to be thinking clearly. I think the one main part that really got to me though was, as usual, the idea of two people in love being forcefully separated, and their inability to do anything about it. it's a very emotional theme for me, I can't stand the idea, like I really really hate it
I think the next book I will read is 'the golden compass' by philip pullman, though if I find anything better in lieu of it I will read that first. I don't know why I'm putting it off a bit, but I am... so far I've liked all the books I've read and I hope to keep up this favorable streak. school starts next week, so I suppose I must get most of the leisurely reading out of the way before readings start to pile up. bidding tomorrow morning! I pray I am not the only person in class
UPDATE:
'never let me go' the movie was surprisingly good! I mean I already knew the whole story but I still cried when Tommy went into his rage, and also when Kathy said quietly, "There are no deferrals, Tommy." I think the casting was quite well done. Carey Mulligan really pulled everything together, and I think Andrew Garfield may have overdone the slight retard factor, but overall he was the one that made me so sad. Keira Knightley was sucky as shit tho, expected. think they could've gotten someone better. but everything else was actually quite good for me, including the soundtrack: lone violins always get me. I enjoyed it! surprisingly, considering how often movies never live up to the books.
just finished 'never let me go' by kazuo ishiguro. deciding whether to watch the movie... mainly because there's one bit in the book where I got quite scared, so I'm thinking I'd be even more freaked about it being acted out at 2.10am. but, for carey mulligan & andrew garfield *drool* MAYBE I will. keira knightley as Ruth? YUCKS i hate her so much. she was so gross in Pirates, I've never gotten over that
anyway the book was quite awesome as it turned out, very heartbreaking towards the end. it's a topic we've often discussed in philosophy, not exactly the idea of clones but of life being nothing more than a technicality, practical in someone else's usage but not your own. and the idea of 'souls' has always been difficult to pin down. when someone is especially cruel, you'd say 'he doesn't have a soul', but we know he does. so what exactly does that mean, anyway? only people who do good things have souls? it's hard to speak about it without getting everything jumbled, and I've had one too many ferrero rochers to be thinking clearly. I think the one main part that really got to me though was, as usual, the idea of two people in love being forcefully separated, and their inability to do anything about it. it's a very emotional theme for me, I can't stand the idea, like I really really hate it
I think the next book I will read is 'the golden compass' by philip pullman, though if I find anything better in lieu of it I will read that first. I don't know why I'm putting it off a bit, but I am... so far I've liked all the books I've read and I hope to keep up this favorable streak. school starts next week, so I suppose I must get most of the leisurely reading out of the way before readings start to pile up. bidding tomorrow morning! I pray I am not the only person in class
UPDATE:
'never let me go' the movie was surprisingly good! I mean I already knew the whole story but I still cried when Tommy went into his rage, and also when Kathy said quietly, "There are no deferrals, Tommy." I think the casting was quite well done. Carey Mulligan really pulled everything together, and I think Andrew Garfield may have overdone the slight retard factor, but overall he was the one that made me so sad. Keira Knightley was sucky as shit tho, expected. think they could've gotten someone better. but everything else was actually quite good for me, including the soundtrack: lone violins always get me. I enjoyed it! surprisingly, considering how often movies never live up to the books.
5.1.11
currently reading 'never let me go' by kazuo ishiguro. kind of sian with it because my sister told me the twist at the end. so now everything is just heading towards that which makes it all the more boring... but I think I will just persevere till the end, because I quite enjoyed it before my sister ruined it for me.
been reading a lot these days. it's a good way to pass time. time that I have a lot of. I slept my day away because I had cramps, meaning I tried to lie down most of the time. and when I lie down I naturally start to feel sleepy, so I literally slept my day away. in between the pockets of sleep I would prop myself up and read until I felt my eyelids droop, then let my head fall into the crook of my arm and sleep. if I haven't already proven myself to be some kind of mutant panda and pig crossbreed (they both sleep a hell lot) then I will prove it now: I love sleeping so much I want to sleep forever. not because it is a form of escape from the real world, but just because it is so. damn. relaxing #slothalert
tomorrow I want to go for the zara sale with my mother, I feel all the good buys getting snapped up so quickly I'm starting to feel anxious. Gus can go and do all his stupid boy things like he's been doing and we'll meet when he's done bringing his testosterone out for a good run (Y)
been reading a lot these days. it's a good way to pass time. time that I have a lot of. I slept my day away because I had cramps, meaning I tried to lie down most of the time. and when I lie down I naturally start to feel sleepy, so I literally slept my day away. in between the pockets of sleep I would prop myself up and read until I felt my eyelids droop, then let my head fall into the crook of my arm and sleep. if I haven't already proven myself to be some kind of mutant panda and pig crossbreed (they both sleep a hell lot) then I will prove it now: I love sleeping so much I want to sleep forever. not because it is a form of escape from the real world, but just because it is so. damn. relaxing #slothalert
tomorrow I want to go for the zara sale with my mother, I feel all the good buys getting snapped up so quickly I'm starting to feel anxious. Gus can go and do all his stupid boy things like he's been doing and we'll meet when he's done bringing his testosterone out for a good run (Y)
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