5 days more to finish my chinese politics essay. Today was our last lecture, I feel legitimately sad because I really like our lecturer! He is so cute and he is so passionate. Sometimes I can't stand exchange students. If you're gonna come to our country but not be open-minded about certain things, and give these "wtf" faces & roll your eyes when the lecturer says something that might be funny to Singaporeans (FORGIVE HIM, since after all it's the majority of the students in his class), then just stay da fuk in Germany ok

I've been procrastinating this essay by playing tetris battle. But I ran out of energy and Bert found out that she can't send me any so... it's a sign. Time to buckle down.

I wonder when it started that human beings began to feel like

maybe tomorrow won't come, maybe this morning was the last time I'd ever wake up from sleep

like the world was ending

I was stalking this woman cos she looked really hot reading her kindle

Been postponing putting up these pictures cos I think I look so shit in all of them, but tonight I'm in a idgaf what the world thinks mood so I better put them up quick before they are doomed to spend eternity in my iPhoto, haha!

I've reached that point in my essay where I have 50 tabs open and I can't close a single one out of fear that there's information on it that I'm going to lose forever. What is this feeling? I feel so close to the perfect essay but it keeps slipping out of my reach, grazing my fingertips with its fat ass. Told myself I would finish the essay by 3am. At 12am, my tutor tells me my other argument is better, and I have to change everything. Screwed. Tomorrow I'm locking myself in the library until it closes. Sounds "hxc", until you learn that it closes at 4.30pm. Haha. Why does 'hxc' mean hardcore

Otherwise today I finally accepted that I'm a music snob. As in, I hate it when people try to recommend music to me. I've always denied it because I think the general perception is music snobs are such narrow minded people, blah blah blah. But today I was like, well I don't really care. All I like is my music. I like discovering new music on my own. I hate it when people say, "OMG you have to listen to this song it's sooo good" and it's some indie ass band that I've never heard of singing some acoustic crap like every other hipster band, or it's some house shit that all sound like Benny Benassi to me. How would you like it if I said, listen to this!!! & it was the Beatles song that sounded like every other Beatles song? Yeah no... I like to discover music myself, tyvm, the only exception being sometimes Gus forces me to listen to something until I like it. So I'll either hear something on radio or in a movie or TV or something and I'll go find out what it is, or stumble upon something really nice. That's why sometimes I get hooked onto songs like 3 years late (like two months ago I really liked Tiny Vessels by Death Cab, and like two months before that I really liked The Real Slim Shady LOL) But I rarely, rarely like things based on people's suggestions. MUSIC SNOB but I don't really care because I only love my music, but I really really love my music. Probably 2 years from now I will be listening to this Gotye shit. I also hate when I'm in the car with people and they're playing songs I don't know and being damn into it cos I feel left out haha

That day in class my mom called me but I kiap-ed it cos I couldn't answer. And I remember feeling terrified because she never calls, she usually messages, and I thought something was wrong, and she took ages to reply me and I wanted to cry. But it was all okay. But that feeling was so scary

Saturdays are meant for relaxing right? I think... Gus and I watched a movie, and a guy said, "It's not about who you spend Friday night with, it's who you wanna spend the whole of Saturday with." And even though it's now 9.02pm and Gus left about 2 hours ago to watch soccer, he still did ask me if I wanted to go with him which would have made it one whole day, and so yeah, I'm really happy he wants to spend his Saturdays with me. But he's really a distraction to my studying sometimes... he's like a cute puppy! Too cute not to play with while he's there haha

My dilemma: currently stuck at 2400 words. 600 words left to cover 2 more points. Worth it? Should I just drag my 2400 words out more? Sigh. I read a sample essay and got distracted by the fancy template of it. She had like borders and little ~~~ things and I was like, I wanna make mine like that!!! And so far I have just a huge title in some typewriter font to mix things up a bit. Badass

Okay time to get to work sigh

edit

I forgot,

Happy 5th of November!!! Remember to throw off the shackles of oppression today!

I think someone should start to speak for the immigrants. I feel like everybody has something horrible to say about the PRCs, the banglas, the filipinos. All the words they use to describe them, loud, kiasu, noisy, ugly, etc... sometimes used in jest, sometimes some people really mean what they say. I understand that people become frustrated because they are crowding our country and whatnot. But in all honesty, the types of critiques some launch against the immigrants are so hypocritical!!! Because for every fault I can find in an immigrant, I can assure you, I'll fucking find it in a Singaporean.

And another thing, the whole Yue Yue incident in China... I can't believe people stereotype that all Chinese have become like that. Yes, 18 people ignored her, but assuming that this only happens in China is ridiculous. The idea of ignoring someone who needs help is in the damn Bible! And you know what? Everytime someone asks for a donation, like $2 that can feed a child in Africa or something and you politely decline? You're ignoring someone who needs help as well. BESIDES, China's context is so vastly different from that of any other country. Unfortunately, that day, 18 people refused to help, but to label over 1.6 billion Chinese as monsters is fucking ridiculous. The few PRCs I do know are super nice, super kind, super friendly, genuine people. You can't take the curry incident and assume all the PRCs are like that, because they're NOT.

And the banglas? What? You scared they rape you? Kill you? PLEASE OK. Any fucking male is capable of rape if he is strong enough. Which means even Singaporeans. Was Adrian Lim a bangla? NO. There are over .35 million banglas working in Singapore. And why do they work here? To earn some fucking money so they can have a better life. You think every single bangla you see on the street is going to throw away his life just to fuck you?

AND, fucking Filipinos are the best service staff ever ok? 1 million times better than some Singaporeans I've seen. At least they care about their work, and they smile, and they put in effort. And it's despicable how some people treat their maids. No, they are domestic helpers. They're not fucking slaves ok? I don't even mean abuse specifically, I'm just talking about those fucking Singaporean aunties who shamelessly yell at their maids in public, or make them stand beside their table while they're eating dinner out. The same aunties who breed a group of Singaporean youths who grow up not knowing how to give respect to people, even if they are poorer, even if they are employees, even if they don't look the same as you.

Seriously right Singaporeans don't understand the kind of backgrounds most of these immigrants come from, why they have to come here to work, how much of their pay they send home to families, etc. We're such a one-time judge all society. Fucking suck up to ang mohs but treat others like shit?

And you know what. I really think that we should feel happy, at least, that we're able to give these immigrants some sort of hope for a better life. You think girls with bachelor's degrees in the Philippines want to work as a maid? Fuck no. But they don't have a damn choice. So I think it's time for Singaporeans to shut their ah beng mouths and learn to be kind and compassionate to others who need help. Time to grow up.

I got so angry I didn't bother with proper english haha

Wasted my day away as usual. Gus came over at around 3pm and we went to have a free lunch, after which we came home with the intention to study but ended up sleeping, as usual. Beds are so dangerous.

Otherwise I have had to reconstruct my entire essay. I'm pretty pissed, but it's gotta be done. I was talking to Gus and he said that's the problem with the Singapore education system, essays and homework and everything has to be marked so strictly according to some rubrick that some random ass person comes up with. But answers outside of the rubrick isn't always wrong. It's just not what they want. And that's fcked up.

I finally finished my hepatitis A injections. It comes in two parts. I don't have to get it again for the rest of my life!!! I have a gargantuan fear of needles, I think it's verging on ridiculous. One time I had stomach pains that were so bad, I was puking out all the medicine I took that while I was at the doctor, she suddenly said she'd have to give me a jab to send the medicine directly into my bloodstream. I started freaking out like crazy and my mom hit me and said, "grow up please you're twenty already"... but she was gonna jab me in the ass and I felt like crying

Which reminds me, does everyone sometimes get random pains at random parts of their body? Cos I get them all the time. Sharp pains, but it's not a headache. Like I'll get them at the tip of my eyebrow or in my shoulder or under my boob or at the back of my head. Really random! Sharp pain, bearable, but sharp... does anyone know if this is normal?